I like to makes lists so I can check them off. It makes me feel organized and gives me a sense of accomplishment. And, if I go to the grocery store without a list I will end up with a lot of things that weren't on my list and maybe a few things that were. But sometimes a list can be not so good. When I was growing up it I lived in a very legalistic atmosphere. Do this to be a good Christian. Don't do that. Those of you who grew up in a Baptist church, remember our tithe envelopes that had the little boxes you checked? Read bible, tithed, etc. I would freak out if I could not check every box and I may or may not have lied some weeks. I understand they were trying to encourage us to do those things but it somehow made me feel like I was less of a Christian if I didn't. We also had to dress a certain way for church. You know, pretty dresses for the girls and women and ties for the men and boys (not to mention the hats on Easter Sunday!). One of my favorites: no white shoes after Labor Day until Easter Sunday. And you always acted like things were great...whether they were or not. That's how I learned to mask so well (see first post). I also learned to act very well. I could be dying inside, but if anyone asked, things were wonderful and I told them so with a big smile on my face.
How did we get there? Who made those rules up? I think when you just know about God and don't truly know Him, it's easy to be legalistic. When you don't spend time in the Word, it's easy to be legalistic. We start adding to the Word, like the Pharisees did. Where in the Bible does it say you can't wear jeans to church or that you have to wear a tie? At one time in my life I even made a list of all the things I couldn't do and all the things I could, or should, do. I figured if I did all the things I was supposed to do and didn't do the things I wasn't supposed to do, God would bless me. You can imagine then, how I felt when I was still single at 30. I would think, "I must not be married because of all the sin in my life." I knew all the Bible stories and could tell them to you. And I worked in the nursery and taught Sunday School...because I was a "good Christian". And everyone thought I was a good Christian. But no one knew what was really going on in my life and heart. Because I hid it. And hid it well. I knew ABOUT God, but I didn't really know Him. Tragic.
When you only know about God and don't truly know Him, it's easy to judge others and point out other people's sins. I think somehow we think if we point out their sin, maybe no one will notice ours. In reality, it makes us look immature and petty. Who wants to listen to someone criticize others all the time? That was me. I was so afraid someone would see what was going on inside of me so I pointed out what other people were doing wrong and how I would never do that. Funny how I would notice in others the things I did not like about myself. This is a horrible way to live. And trying to keep all the rules is exhausting! One night I went to Kent crying and said,"I can't do this anymore! I can't be a good Christian. It's too hard. But I don't know what else to do! It's all I've ever known." As I was talking to him I realized, I'm not supposed to do it on my own. I can't live the Christian life on my own. That's why it was so hard. And that's why Jesus came to save us. And to live through us because we CAN'T do it ourselves. That is what He was trying to show the Israelites in the Old Testament. You can't keep all the rules. You MUST depend on Him. The Israelites did not learn this. In fact, the Jews in the New Testament added more and more rules so that it became almost impossible to do anything without sinning. And how in the world did they remember all those rules?! It makes my head spin just thinking about it.
Several years ago I read the book, "Breaking the Bondage of Legalism" by Neil Anderson, Rich Miller, and Paul Travis.. It was life-changing! I highly recommend it if you even think you might struggle with legalism. It took a while for me to start living in the freedom Christ came to give me, but I finally made it. Now I know Him, not just about Him. And you know what, I have missed church a few times (shocker!!). I've also worn jeans to church. On a Sunday morning even! Notice the verse under "About Me". It says to no longer be burdened by a yoke of slavery. The yoke of legalism is very heavy. It will weigh you down. And that's exactly where the enemy wants us. He wants us to be good people so we will think we don't need Jesus. Jesus died for the good people too. He is the ONLY way to God. If we could be good enough to get into heaven on our own, then Jesus would not have had to die a brutal death on the cross. God knew we would need to be saved, because we cannot save ourselves, so He sent Jesus, His perfect, sinless son to save us. Our sin separates us from God, because He is holy. Jesus brings us to God because He is sinless. Not only that, Jesus wants to live through us so that the world will know Him. When I am judging others, I am not showing them Jesus. I'm actually making Jesus look bad.
Here are a couple of quotes from the book, "The Christian life is not, and never has been, a human effort to obey God's commands in the Bible. That is a very popular form of legalism - a performance-based Christianity that opposes the truth that apart from Christ we can do 'nothing'." "For most believers, apparently, the Christian life is much more about doing than being. For them this involves a striving to avoid sin and do more right than pursuing an intimate, personal relationship with God." I highly recommend this book! I go back to it often.
This whole legalism thing starts with pride, as do most sins. We think so highly of ourselves that we don't need God. After all, if I'm a good person, why would I need Him? So we start relying on ourselves. We must realize we cannot do it ourselves!!! I'm talking to myself as much as anyone. I still struggle with this. And that's why I get stressed and start having physical problems because of the stress. Because we were never designed nor expected to keep God's commands on our own. Nor were we ever told in God's Word that strict adherence to law is God's way of making man righteous. It has always been and always will be by faith. I'm learning this. And it's a daily thing. And I still go back to trying to do it myself (my mom always told me that those were my first words :)) But, thankfully, God is patient with me. So let's learn to live in this freedom. It is SO refreshing! And to walk by faith. It's so freeing! I'll leave you with a quote from Amy Carmichael, a missionary to India (I recommend ANY of her books), "Humility is not thinking less of yourselves. It is not thinking of yourself at all."
Another book that I recommend along with "Breaking the Bondage of Legalism" is "Reclaiming Surrendered Ground" by Jim Logan. It's about breaking strongholds in our lives.
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