Twenty years ago today, April 3, 1994, I met Kent Mathis, so I thought today I would dedicate my post to him. That's it. I just met him that day. A mutual friend introduced us (I think they were actually on a date). The only reason I know the date is because it was Easter Sunday. Neither of us had any idea we would ever marry each other (well, he might have). The next month I started dating another guy (I may never share that story). After almost two years of me getting my heart broken by a couple of guys, Kent and I started dating. He had been "testing the waters" for a while. As he likes to put it, "Sometimes they were warm, but sometimes they were ice cold." You see, Kent was not like any guy I had ever dated. I tended to date guys like me - outgoing, fun,etc. Kent is very quiet. I would not go out with him because I thought he would not be any fun, but he IS!!! He is the most kind, gentle, humble man I know. That is actually what attracted me to him because I had definitely not dated many guys like that before. He would ask me to lunch and we hung out in the same group of people in our Singles ministry. We got to know each other that way. Thankfully, he never gave up and was persistent. I told my friends I was not attracted to him. One friend said, "You need to pray for the attraction because he is a great guy." Two different friends, who did not even know each other, told me I should go out with him. The final straw was when my mom said she really liked him (she met him at a basketball game). I finally said, "OK, God. I'll go out with him." So we started dating. We cannot remember our actual first date because we had gone to lunch several times and gone to Singles events together. But that's not important. We know it was sometime in March of 1996. We had been dating a few weeks and I was whining about something (no telling what it was) and he said to me, "You are trying to manipulate me and that's not going to happen." I was stunned! How dare he! But actually, it made me respect him. It had worked so many other times with guys, but not with him. In fact, I still can't manipulate Kent Mathis!
Let me insert here and say, for those who may not know, at the time we met, Kent was a student at Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary and an intern at Bellevue Baptist Church. I was actually unemployed (I had lost my job) at the time we met. A couple of months later I got a job at Bellevue in the Preschool Ministry.
We had been dating a few months and he came to get me to go to lunch and said, "I reserved the chapel for October 5th." I said, "What for?" And he said, "For us." This was HUGE!! I needed a guy who knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to let me know. You see, I had dated a guy in the past for several years and he could not decide if we should get married. After I "manipulated" him into getting engaged, 3 days before the wedding he called it off. Now, before you go crazy about that, let me tell you we are fine. Was it hard? Absolutely! I was humiliated and embarrassed to say the least. But, I do remember when I talked to God about it, he said, "Just trust me." I told Him I had trusted Him and look where it got me! I questioned Him, got mad at Him, and struggled with trusting Him. But He was so patient with me. I learned it wasn't Him I couldn't trust, it was ME. I wanted to get married so bad I tried to make every guy be "the one". I am thankful to say that in about 18 months, my relationship with that guy was restored (just friendship though). In fact, after Kent and I had been married a few years that guy started coming to our church and Kent and him became great friends! So, the fact that Kent KNEW he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me was very important. I, on the other hand, still did not trust myself. I had fallen for so many guys (another post) that I was done. I had a huge wall around my heart that I was not about to let just anyone in. Thankfully, God showed me that Kent was, in fact, who He had for me.
Kent proposed to me on July 4th, 1996. We had flown to Georgia, where he is from, to spend the 4th of July with his family and for me to meet them. I had no idea he had a plan :) His family has a big celebration on the 4th at his sister's house. We had been swimming and eating and celebrating. He had gathered everyone around the pool and I was sitting in a chair and he got down on his knee and proposed. He even had his brother-in-law video it. It was very sweet. I, of course, said yes! We were married September 28, 1996 (October 5th didn't work out). It has been an awesome journey. We've had some trials and some heartaches and some great joys. There is no one I would rather do life with. I think he is the most awesome person...ever! I hope that all of you feel that way about your spouse. Because, you should. There is NO ONE I respect more than Kent either. I have seen God do some amazing things with and through Kent. And if you knew where he came from, well, you would understand. I cannot tell you how much I love this man (I'm tearing up as I type)! I've seen him mistreated...and he didn't ever say a negative thing about the people mistreating him. He never says anything negative about anyone. When people found out I was engaged to Kent they all (bar none) said,
"He is such an awesome guy!" I do not know what people said to him when
they found out he was engaged to me, but that is what they said to me
:) And he is. I cannot say enough good things about him.
Kent and I are SO different! He's pretty laid back and I get excited about almost anything. I guess that's why we work so good together :) You know, opposites attract. God has definitely stretched both of us in many ways. It's funny how what I thought I wanted/needed in a guy was really way off from the truth. Kent is exactly what I needed!! This journey has not always been easy but it has been oh so rewarding! There is no one I would rather do life with than Kent. He completes me. And, actually, he needed me. He does not have nearly enough words so I help him out with that :)
I'd like to recommend a few books here. I love to read, so I will be recommending a lot of books. My all-time favorite book on marriage is "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. In fact, I recommend anything by Gary Thomas, one of my favorite authors. Wives also need to read "Sacred Influence" by him. "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn and "For Men Only" by her husband are also good reads. And, of course, "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerich.
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